Free Relationship Advice for Men and Women

Welcome to the blog for This is the premiere site for love advice, relationship advice, dating advice and even sex advice. For FREE relationship advice, go to my website and check out my free online advice column. Learn how to get your ex back and find out what women really want. Click one of the books to learn more or read through my emails and responses. I can help you with your boyfriends, girlfriends, your wife or your husband. Visit my website and email the Diva!

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Thursday, May 04, 2006

Check out these free love eCards

Hey all!

It has been a while since I posted and I will tell you why: I have been working SO hard on making my new page for free love ecards. Now, I am not a major web mistress so it isn't perfect or the best, but I had so much fun making it! Send one to your lover or your best friend. They are completely free and there is not even a sign up. All you have to do is a pick a card and send it! Check it out and tell me what you think...I think they are pretty cool!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Stop the Instant Blog Message Crap

What is up with these spam messages on my blog? Check out my posting from two postings is filled with rediculous auto responder crap! Who does this stuff? Okay, if your business is that desperate for hits, you will probably fail. And if you are spamming people's boards with crap they really don't care about, your business sucks. lol I am going to leave my messages still open for people to use just so you can see the idiots that post.

In Love With a Gay Man

Dear Diva Rebecca,

I fell in love with a guy. But he says he's gay and he has a boyfriend. Even though he says he's gay I don't think he actually is. He is tall, has a lot of muscles, and has a really manly voice. I think that he only thinks he's gay because he told me that on his first day of high school some kids were making fun of him and called him homosexual. But I think that he might kinda like me too because I've already caught him looking at me then he suddenly turned around and pretended he wasn't looking. What should I do? How do you think I could attract his attention?


The Other Team,
Fort Walton Beach, Florida

Dear Other Team,

First of all, you are not in love. You have an intense crush. That is not love. Love is when you have a deep emotional connection with someone and the feeling is reciprocated. I always tell people that you can not actually love someone unless they love you back. At least, the love is not as full as it could and should be. You can't really attach a definite label or description to love. But still, when you have a deep lustful attraction to someone you just met, you can hardly call that love. I would call it LUST. One of my favorite words.

Let's move on to important point number two. This man did not tell you he was homosexual because he only “thinks” he might be. He also did not tell you he was gay in hopes that you would chase him. When a man tells you he is gay, it is because of two possible reasons. 1) Because he really wants to get rid of you. This would be classified as a severely desperate attempt to get rid of a highly annoying individual. If you have the faintest notion that a man might be telling you he is gay when he really is not, you should back off. He just went to the farthest reaches of desperation and in an truly brave attempt where losing his manliness is concerned, he told you he was gay just to get rid of you. You can consider this worse than a “kiss off” letter. 2) Unbelievably, he is actually gay. And just so you know, the easiest conclusion is usually the correct one.

So now you actually think he might be attracted to you even though he told you he was gay. You are hearing noise in the static, darling. Many women are attracting to men that they can't have. I remember this one girlfriend of mine who had a male suitor she didn't care for her. No matter how much he groveled over her, she would not give him the time of day. One day this gentlemen fell in love with another woman and began to have a serious and committed relationship with her. And that is when quite suddenly my girlfriend found him desirable. She commented to me, “He seems so much more confident. A guy just seems sexier when he already has a girlfriend”. She even went after him after that. This guy is so attractive to you because he presents a challenge. He seems unattainable and that can be a turn on.

You really need to realize that this man IS unattainable. He is gay and there is nothing you can do to change this. The one thing you can do is show him respect. Respect this individual by supporting his lifestyle and how he wants to live. Trying to change the person he is would be considered disrespectful. Be his friend and companion. He is gay and there is nothing wrong with this but by trying to change him you are telling him that his lifestyle is wrong. Girl, that will only cause him to dislike you and I wouldn't blame him!

If you really need a visual to understand things better, put yourself in his shoes. Imagine a new girlfriend in your life who thinks you are hot and wants to convert you to lesbianism. You might be flattered, but an extensive chase would only eventually tick you off.


Diva Rebecca

Monday, October 17, 2005

Romantic Vacations

If you have entered into what could be a serious relationship, then at some point in time the two of you should escape into a private romantic vacation. A retreat for just the two of you. When your relationship begins to fuse into a single life force and your entire world suddenly begins to revolve around each other, things can sometimes start to get routine or dull. The excitement might be starting to fade, although the love is just as strong as it ever was, and life is getting back to its boring old self. This is especially true once you move in together. You get up, go to work, go to the gym, do errands, clean the house and go to bed. You cuddle up and watch the same television shows together, make plans with the same friends on the weekends and go to the same restaurants for dinner out. There is absolutely nothing wrong with becoming comfortable with your lover. Life can't always be a daytime soap opera. But opting to take a romantic vacation together can turn out to be an indelible time together you will never forget.

There are many types of vacations you and your lover can take. Choosing the one that is right for you makes all the difference. Many people say that a vacation with your loved one is actually one of the more stressful times you can have where you relationship is concerned. This is actually very true; but it doesn't have to be. If you pick the wrong type of vacation, you could potentially be at each other's throats and ready to kill by the end of the week.

There are two main types of vacations a couple can take: A romantic vacation or a sight-seeing vacation. But what is the difference? The two categories I have chosen are very generalized but there is a major difference. With a romantic vacation the two of you will get plenty of relaxation, rejuvenation, pampering, lounging and easy time to spend together. On a sight seeing adventure you and your lover will be on the go-go-go. You won't stay in one place for too long, you will be constantly planning the next place to go and the next sight to see and you will be busy navigating and trying to communicate with the locals if you are in a different country. You might have a wonderful time, but the stress is going to build and build.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a wonderful sight-seeing tour with your lover, especially if traveling is your passion. But if you are looking specifically for a romantic vacation, then you might want to rethink the European tour. A vacation for two in Europe, for example, might sound wonderful and even romantic. The problem is that you are going to want to see as many sights and countries as you can in your short time. The majority of your time will be spent on the road or train, in banks exchanging currency, looking at maps and trying to find somewhere to eat and even find a bathroom. Pretty soon you will find yourself quarreling about which place to go next and because you spend so much time side by side together, you might get a tad bit annoyed with each other. This is normal, but not very romantic.

If you want to escape into a romance filled and lascivious vacation, then what you want is to go to one place for the weekend or for the whole week. A resort will have the best effect. Whether it is a resort in the snowy Alpine peaks or a resort on the sandy white beaches of the Carribbean, love and romance will be the number one priority. There will be nothing to worry about. Drinks are brought to your lounge chair and meals are paid for. You can take turns deciding what to do for the day, but for the most part you both know you are going to get plenty of lounging, napping and love making into the day. There is nothing to cause you any great stress and the two of you should be all smiles for the entire vacation. A romantic vacation is a peaceful vacation.

You should also take into consideration a few tips to make your amorous vacation just perfect. First, leave your work at home. Don't try and use your cell phone to make business calls and leave your briefcase and laptop where it belongs: at the office. If you get caught thinking about business, your lover might be less than thrilled; he or she might even be downright insulted. Also, make sure everyone in your office knows not to call you, don't even give them the name of your resort. Second, try not to worry about what is going on back home. Let your worries and anxieties slip away into oblivion. You are on vacation, try and realize this. Some people have a difficult time letting themselves wind down. Third, make a decent effort to be loving to your partner. You are not the only one on vacation, you partner also deserves this break. Make unexpected and loving gestures in the name of love and romance. Buy your sweetheart something to remember the vacation with, give him or a her a back rub on the beach, buy a bunch of flowers from a vendor on the street or think of a special way to say, “I love you”. If you give a little, you will get a lot in return. It will make your vacation the most romantic getaway you have ever had.

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Sunday, July 24, 2005

Ex girlfriend

Ex girlfriend: do you want to get back together with that ex? Learn how to get your ex back at and let the Diva show you the way!

I Want My Girlfriend Back

I want my girlfriend back: Did you and your girlfriend break up? Learn how to get your ex back at Learn from the Diva!

He dumped me

He dumped me: Did your special guy dump you? Find out the reasons why and learn how to win that special love back at
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I want him back

I want him back: Are you looking for ways to get that man back into your life? Learn how to get your ex back at Let the Diva show you how!

How To Get My Boyfriend Back

How to get my boyfriend back: Learn how to get your boyfriend back at
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

How To Find My Long Lost Old Flame

Dear Diva Rebecca,

My last real relationship was 5 years ago. Since then I have always carried a torch for this one that I foolishly let get away five years ago. Would it be insane to hire a P.I. to find out if she is single and to see if it would be possible for us to start dating again? I really want to find out if she is to be the one for me. I am confused about why I am suddenly feeling so strong for her and why I desperately want to find her.


Living in the Past

Dear Living in the Past,

I am happy to tell you that what you are experiencing is quite normal. Many of us wonder and contemplate what our past loves are up to these days. Everyone is bound to make some strong connections with a few people during their lives. After a few or even many years of separation from one of those special individuals, our interest can be peaked. We start to think of that person in a good light and we wonder what they could be doing after all these years, where they are now and how they are. This is completely normal. Everyone is bound to wonder about it.

It is also very normal for you to miss that person. There could be a number of reasons why. Sometimes a relationship with someone is just not right at the time. You may have been too young or just getting your life going and didn't have time for a committed relationship. Suddenly, when you feel like you have more to give and you are ready for a committed relationship, you look back and find that one special person. You wish you could reach back in time and pull her towards today now that you have become ready. In this case, she might have moved on by now. It has been a while. She might have found someone who was ready for a relationship when she was. If that is the case, you need to move on. There is no sense in trying to break up a happy relationship just because you are ready now. You should find someone on your own level who is single, which you will.

Sometimes it takes hurt and emotional pain to recognize the beauty of a long lost love. Some people break it off with an old flame and move on, not realizing how great the relationship was and taking it for granted. After a while, that person could get terribly hurt themselves in another relationship. This is a boomerang effect. When this happens, you are so hurt that you want to crawl back into those loving arms of the person you know would never hurt you like you have just been hurt. Sometimes it is this very pain which causes a person to mature. They see how they, themselves, have hurt others in the past by experiencing the same pain. Without warning, that person knows just what a committed relationship is and they are ready for one.

For whatever the reason, there is no harm done simply looking for an ex. I don't think I would go to the extreme of hiring a Private Investigator. That would be ludicrously expensive and a little bit overboard. If I were you, I would find an online website dedicated to finding old acquaintances like For only $10, you would probably be able to find her.

If you are able to locate this woman, don't start obsessing and do not stalk. Call her up, send her a letter or simply show up. Tell her straight out that you were looking around for her and that you "heard" about where she was. Don't let her know that you were researching her, that might come across as being a tad bit too desperate. Don't follow her around to see if she is dating someone either. This is just plain creepy. Be up front with her, you will feel better about it. You can find out quickly if she is single or not by asking her out for some coffee to catch up. If she is seeing someone she will hesitate and then tell you about him (unless she is not that into him). If she is single she will happily accept your offer. Catching up is fun, especially for women! We love to talk about ourselves.


Diva Rebecca

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

His Cousin is Hot

Dear Diva Rebecca,

I recently moved in with my boyfriend. After doing so, I see his cousin all of the time. To make things worse, I like his cousin alot and he likes me. I want to know what you think because I want to be with the cousin but I dont want to break the family up.


Keeping it in the Family

Dear Keeping it in the Family,

First of all, you should move out because you are not in love with your boyfriend. If you were, you would not be getting all wet over his cousin. That just isn't right. It is too incestuous. Second, don't even think about getting with his cousin. That will be a disaster in the making. Even if you did hook up with him you will have more probelms than you could ever begin to imagine. There will be a rift in his family, anger between cousins, resentment and you will forever be the girlfriend who slept with his cousin. Nothing good will come of it. Never get between guys that are close, take my word for it. Besides, this is just too "Jerry Springer".
Diva Rebecca

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Hot for my Boss

Dear Diva Rebecca,

I started to work for a small company late last year. The girl was training me for my position became my close friend. My supervisor was so nice to me making sure I was okay and asking how the was job going. Three weeks into the job my supervisor and I became really close. We made each other laugh. One day when I was leaving for the weekend my supervisor walked me to my car and asked me to call him. I called him we hung out at a hotel. We talked and kissed and that's it. The next day I went to work and told my good friend at work about what happened. She went around and told every one we are having an affair. My supervisor did not speak to me for a month. It's been 5 months now and we only talk about business. Meanwhile my friend flirts with him all the time. I want him back but every time I try to tell him I miss him I can't get the words right. My supervisor is married. Although he said he never did anything like this before, he flirts with all the girls in front of me. And now I get nothing.


Working Girl,

Dear Working Girl,

Change jobs. This guy is the typical martini drinking business manager who loves to slap asses and chase the girls around the office. He uses his power in the office to get what he a la carte. He probably does all the hiring too. Take a look around your office. Are most of the employees of the young and hot female variety? I would assume so. All this guy wants to do is screw around with the hired help with no strings attached. Men in power easily influence their younger female subjects because the sense of power can be intoxicating and alluring. Women easily fall victim to the sex appeal of a man in control. He is the alpha male. He is the one that draws your attention. But this jerk is using his position to take advantage of you and all the other girls.

Now, I am not one to judge about the guy you pick as your lover. I too fell victim to an office romance or two. I also fell hard for a boss. Ahh, sweet memories. The private meetings, sex on the board room name it. It was fabulous! Fortunately, I never pick a guy I think is going to use me. My boss was a gracious, sweet, loving and sincere gentlemen. And he was single and available. It was definitely his power and the fact that he was my boss which attracted me to him. It was such a powerful attraction. For a month or two all I could think about was him. I couldn't focus on the job, I couldn't work. I even broke down a couple of times and confessed my strong desires and lust to a few of his friends asking what to do. It was the strongest desire for a man I had ever experienced. It was the "boss" thing. Inevitably, it happened. I flirted and one thing led to another. It did not last but I never regretted it. It was a wonderful experience.

Your boss is married and he has no respect for you. As soon as someone found out, he freaked out and stopped talking to you. He doesn't want to get caught, ever. He only wants to screw around completely free of charge. And now he flirts with other women in front of you. Girl, you have got to open your eyes and see the truth. He will NEVER have a relationship with you and he will NEVER respect you. Start looking for another job and when you have one put in your resignation. Make sure you get a great letter of recommendation from this slimeball boss of yours. You don't want to continue working with this freak.

And do you actually think he has never done this before? You are young and naive. He probably has a new “private” assistant each week. If he had truly never done this before, would he have met you out at a hotel? The concierge probably knows him by name.


Diva Rebecca